Recently, I had been receiving private messages, on Facebook, from an old friend trying to sell me on each of these new “opportunities” that he has come across. Below is my response, what are your thoughts? Please leave a comment below with your feedback… and if you know someone like this, feel free to use this as a Sales Pitch Response, provided you fill in your own information. Also, this was as short as I could get the message without going into some very specific details, don’t beat me up if it’s too broad.
Keep in mind that this is the fourth private message in about two months…
I appreciate the offer and wanted to make sure to give you some feedback on your message. This is just constructive criticism coming from a copy writing and online sales pro.
The best chance you have to convert a reader to a buyer comes through several key aspects:
1) Knowing your customer – What is their state of mind? What challenges are they facing? How do they interact on the medium you are choosing to connect with them (verbal, written, digital, etc)
2) Trust – Have you established trust with whomever you are communicating with? How have you established that trust? (via success, long suffering, proving yourself as an expert, etc)
3) Testimonials – Example, “I started working on X about 2 months ago and just got my first check for $120.” <~~ There is some key psychological terminology in this sentence that most people would overlook.
4) Timing and delivery – You may need to craft 3-6 messages to get feedback and solve problems before you pitch.
Timing and delivery is also a key in building trust and relationships. I’m going to be hesitant to open your messages because the last 3 that I got from you, have been sales pitches. I’m not interested in buying anything or participating. Why? Because you are not approaching me in a way that I relate to, you have not built my trust in anything you are promoting, there have been no positive feedback on any of your last three ventures, and you are contacting me on a platform that I use to connect with friends and family.
I hope this is taken into consideration before sending any more of your friends these types of messages.
NOW, that being said, I would be more than happy to advise you on how to go about building a platform in which you could use to promote specific products (physical, digital, third party). It would be similar to how I built __________ from 0 to six figures in 1 year.
Take care brotha. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!”